.:我是我的你的:.

ha..ha.

well...i haven't written english article for a long time..

do you ever feel that way..

how much you want to kill a person..and wish that he could just disappear from your life forever..?

someone would say that...oh..you must break up with your boyfriend..

well..i would say..i never have boyfriend..and i don't expect that i would have a boyfriend..

because anything i expect would happened won't happened in the real life ...

the real life is so cruel..that you can't take it forever..the only thing you do just let it be...maybe down to the hell ha..ha..

the person i would accuse of ...is my dad....

so people say that..it's your father..how cruel you are...to accuse of your own dad..

well..i would say that..WTF...it's not your business...maybe some other people live a worse life than me...

but compare to the happy one..i would say that i just hate him ..the guy who doesn't prepare to be a father in the end..

when i was young...all i rememberd is that he always stayed outside until very late...even the morning of the next day..

and..what did he do...the answer was GAMBLING...DRINKING..SMOKING..not mentioned to hard work...until now..he still has kept all that bad habits..

even when i and my younger sister felt sick..he still stayed outside..sometimes i wish that we aren't his daughter..

sometimes he will spend out all his salary on gambling..we aren't rich..we need every penny of hard work..sometimes he just spent out all of them..didn't think of his own family...doesn't you think that he is cruelest one?

and i hate smoke and drink...if you drink for noble or relaxed yourself..not to be drunken i thought it will be good..

but he isn't like other...just drink until he's drunken..and then start gambling...and all that things happen again and again..

and if he lost his game without any money left...he would come home..start to yell at me or my younger sister..

and i like the person who will dress himself or herself up...not being so badly taste...i don't think that you should dress up some high fashion brand clothes..

only need to let others feel comfortable and clean..is it so difficult to do..?

sometimes i even feel shame when i saw him appear in my school.. really... without a dount...a school is a place everyone will compare to anyway else..

if you aren't rich..please try to make yourself look noble...not that bad..

even you did so many good before..i really think that all your bad habits or drawbacks can easily cover the good ones..

sometimes i hope that mom can divorce with you...i think if she does so...she will be happier...and me ,too..(i pray for myself ha..ha..)

Esme Love & Peace(not for my family)

2011.02.09 XOXO